Something missing? I need to patch it
An emptiness inside of me...reserved for someone to take the spot in my life...i should be feeling glad actually..but recently, i am being pricked by emptiness...
Why glad you may ask...because i enjoy being alone. I can do anything that i desire to do. Sing, Dance, Scream, Cry, Smile etc etc...ANYTHING!!
Being alone may be fun, but i think i am already past the stage of loneliness and now i need company...i have it, but i choose not to mix? Stupid ain't i...can't really figure out what i want...when i find it i will let it be known...like it actually even matters =
Realise why i play computer games so much...its not for the fun of it, but for the sake of playing it to get out of reality...i don't want to play but i force myself to play just to pass time...if i study, i can't concentrate on 1 thing alone...more of a multitasker which in the end nothing gets done at all :)
Its amazing how people tell lies just to save their skin...for real!
-OUT-
Kowai desu kara hanashi kunai :(
Slept so late...4.30am cause i was reading comics...but i woke up at 10am...then prepared to go to school...had more than enough time...so i decided to watch my anime, Marchen Awakens Romance(MAR) first..watched and watched...didn't realise the time...12.15pm...Rushed out of my house!
Reached bus stop at 12.25pm...lucky the bus came just in time...travelling on the bus...actually was feeling quite energetic...but halfway through i fell asleep unknowingly...then woke up and saw this ahpek sitting next to me...he was also sleeping...
Soon, reached the bus stop where i was supposed to alight...the ahpek next to me still sleeping...so i didn't bother speaking out the words "Excuse me"...instead i used my index finger and *poke poke* on his shoulders...then he jumped up...his reaction so big...made me jump also! At least he never scold me...so i just said i was alighting and he got up to let me get through..so paiseh...disturb ahpek from his sleep >.< color="#ff0000">EYES,
HEART and the
SOULAs usual, our class ends the latest, from an ending time of 5pm to 5.45pm or so...but its alright i guess, since this is the final class...interesting journey i have been through this course...learnt many new things like how to view things and of course, how to judge things.
Now i know why i have a strong interest in psychology...there are actually many other factors that contribute to my curiousity but i shan't reveal them least i get exposed for other things =
TV was the only thing on my mind when i arrived home...had no intention to do anything else...but i have to do my property management assignment...and study for common tests next week...will do it soon after i take my bath...strictly no more games for now...must practise self-discipline, something which i have tried but failed to achieve for years...and i doubt i will be able to now anyway...the mood is just not there yet...so for now...time to bath :)
-OUT-
Lose it when ur up so late on a sch day
Almost 4am and i am still up...my fingers just itchy to write this out..Hee~~
Just finished Dotaing...i know i'm crazy..i still have school later...time to read comics and then sleep..
OHAYO GOZAIMASU!!
GOOD MORNING!!
BUENOS DIAS!!
Thats what happens when lack of sleep >.<
-OUT-
Comment & relationship =\
Keke...somebody actually posted a comment and i didnt see it...Don't blame me :) i'm still new to this blogging thingy...so far i have been only writing entries and more entries...the longer i use this, i think i will change everything to make it more appealing to all of you ^.^
In reply to you, what you said makes sense and i guess its part and parcel of life...everyone will go through almost the same stages of life so i won't even consider what you said as rubbish :)
What i have found out today...my failed relationships are not because of the other party...but its my own fault because of the tons and tons of insecurity i have and feel...so my relationships will never work out as long as these insecurity comes into place...which is why i end the relationship? To prevent further damage done to both parties...it may be hard for the other party to accept but i should not give false hopes...i have finally realised the answer...Times when asked why it should end that way, i can't give an answer but now i know why. It has nothing to do with the other party but me, myself and i!
On my way home, forgot what i was thinking about though...too deep in my trail of thoughts that i....walked and walked....and knocked into a frigging lamp post...hell that hurt alot...if that wasn't enough, i was still thinking about it when i reached my estate...past the guardhouse...and right into a bush...1st time when i hit the lamp post, a few people saw and laughed...so embarassing! The next was near the guardhouse and walked straight into the bush...i jumped backwards shocked...i think nobody saw that time..or at least i hoped nobody saw! I sped up and went to the lift up my house...what a weird day...
Today was the start of the 1st paper for my common test! Didn't really study for this paper...spent like 1/2 an hour only so i wonder how i will fair in it...if i manage to pass this i will be happy :) the paper was tough for me! Of course i would say that...i didn't prepare for it =
As usual, Monday would mean Japanese lessons for me :D so i learn a new thing every week...except the next 3 weeks there wont be any classes because of the holidays and common test week...now i am back home calming myself down from earlier embarassment and i still have to complete my ISP project which is already 1/2 way done! Pretty satisfied with the work done so far...but for now its TV time ^.^
p/s. This is a pretty short entry and i don't really like writing short ones so its gonna be back to LONG entries...i'm boring thanks :)
-OUT-
Think less, Smile more
I always complicate the simplest things...to put it simply...i think too much -.-
Whats right in front of me will go past me unnoticed and unrealised until something stops me to look and at that point of time, life comes to a standstill. At times, i may be too observant and see things that i wish i did not see...so which is better? To see or not to see? When do we choose to see and when do we choose to ignore? Typically speaking, to ignore would be the easiest way to go, but prepare to see thousands of knives coming your way :)
Today i was awoken by my brother to prepare to go to church...after changing, i went out of my bedroom and asked..."Where's mum?"
My brother said she left...when he said that, i took it that she had already went off to church without us...i was happy! Could skip mass...but happiness does not last long...15mins later, my mum came up the lift and said lets go to church now...*Hopes Shattered*
It was a wet day...heavy rain in the late morning and early afternoon...which made it a perfect weather to sleep through don't you think? I was supposed to be studying for my test tomorrow...ended up playing Dota...haven't touched games in a whole week so you can't blame me! I am so deprived of games because i don't have the time during the week -.-
When i finally decided to stop playing and go study, i ended up sleeping instead...too lazy! Took an afternoon nap from 3-7pm which was supposed to be study time...cool eh? After waking up, it was TV time...all the way till 11.30pm...after which will be my study time till 1am tops =) pretty sure that i will have more than enough distractions as i study..thats how i work i guess =]
Finally decided what i am going to do for my ISP project...the thing was right in front of me but yet i chose to reck my head just to find a topic to do...when it came to my head, i was like...why the hell did i even think so much...time for Las Vegas =)
-OUT-
Movie day 27/5/06
Woke up today and had a heavy lunch(no breakfast because i only woke up at 11.15am)..what i had for lunch? 1.2 litres of water, 330ml of orange juice, 330ml of soya bean, 1 chicken pie, 4 pieces of samosa, 1 pizza, 1 big gulp of F&N Grape...yes majority of it is in drinks =.= weirdo ain't i? Was supposed to meet my friends for lunch but ended up i watched them eat =) Its alright..i save my money =P
While waiting for my friends to come(yes, they are always late)...i walked around Lucky Plaza...and found a book bazzar...i love these...because they always sell "Archie Comics"...1 for S$3.90, 3 for S$10...naturally i would buy in 3's...there were 8 comics that i didn't have..but because of the 3 for $10 thingy, i only bought 6 =( so sad...2 comics less to read
After my friends had their lunch, we had hours to spend before the movie started...so i decided to go lan gaming at E2 Max at Orchard Cineleisure...played for 2 hours before we went for dinner...had Modonyaki(basement of Takashimaya) and Chicken Skin(gross? Its NICE!) available from Tori-Q =)
Been crapping throughout the whole day...crap crap and more crap...typical i guess...or else it won't be the norm...hmmm =
After dinner at taka, we headed down to the new Cathay Cineplex...on the way, we made a few detours...1st for ice-cream...then to PS as my friend wanted to buy new shoes from BATA(Buy And Throw Away)...forgot i had to withdraw money for myself and they had to wait for me >.< luck ="\">.<
Finish? Yes...thats all...time to go back home for rest...went to bus stop and my bus came...lucky today ^.^
On the bus, got this touchy couple...touch here, touch there...no sense of decency at all...tsk tsk...nevermind...free show for people to see..but not for me...i didn't like them because they were I*****S(go decipher the word...but i wont say it out)...fucking ugly sight to me, everytime i look up only see it *PUKE*...cursing and swearing at them throughout the journey...You may say its none of my business what they do...but it is indirectly affecting me
Anyway reached home and its all good...still got to wake up early for church tomorrow..sigh...and study for test on Monday...thats all for now...
-OUT-
Lies and Truths
What is hidden behind the lies? What is hidden behind the truth?
Why do we lie? Why do we tell the truth?
Nobody is perfect and nobody will ever be perfect...we lie to hide our truth and we tell the truth to hide our lies...think i'm bullshitting? Think again...
Somehow, people just like digging into my life...you win some, you lose some...thats all i can say...ever want to know me? Go devise some devious plan and you probably might get something out of it...i'm not kidding...if you are really that good, you can get the answers you want from me...otherwise, go on bitching about me behind my back. Best is not to let me know...ignorance is bliss so i won't even bother about what you say...start rumours? Go ahead...be my guest. I do not mind getting attention be it good or bad...as long as its attention...isn't that what everyone wants in life?
Friend or foe? Either is cool...who wants a life with all friends only...there has to be some backstabbing once in a while to make it more interesting...right?
Ice skating is a good way to forget my problems...only worry is...*try not to fall down*...seeing people do stunts and get envious... O.O i wish i can do that too...well can only dream and think about it but if it ever becomes possible, won't give up a chance...not even 1 bit...
Whats a good achievement today? I did not sleep during lecture today...Ha! Been a while but i finally managed to overcome it...and i actually learnt quite alot by listening to what my lecturer explained...common tests coming up so time to get busy and study!
Oh...watching X-Men 3 tomorrow at the new Cathay Cineplex again...Can't wait for it :)
-OUT-
Sleepy day, TV programs
*Yawn*...Just woke up from my nap(7.05pm+)...beautiful weather to sleep in..(give me a minute to gather my thoughts...)
I said give me a minute...but in the end i took hours :) went to watch television instead(American Idol FINALE)...beautiful! Just stunning...glued to it as the 12 finalists performed 1 after another...must really say, this is really the best season of AI ever...they all can sing so well but overall, it came down to 2...Taylor VS Katharine...and the winner...*Drumroll*...TAYLOR HICKS!!! Both were deserving winners as they sang superbly...but in the end, there can only be 1 and it is Taylor...Grand performance, Grand stage, Grand celebrities...everything was just Grand!
After this, it was "Women of Times"(Channel 8 Drama). Currently, 2nd brother gets heart attack, sister sees and thinks hes lying, walks off, 2nd brother calls wife, wifes rushes with daughter in law, 2nd brother dies of heart attack, wife and daughter in law meet in car accident. Wife dies but daughter in law remains in coma. Son of deceased parents wants revenge, reveals to family who caused parents deaths, sister gets disowned. Everything seems to be going wrong and wrong...really sad story...but acting sucks :)
Then, was hoping for a good episode of "Lost". To my disappointment, more reruns! Stupid channel 5 is really getting boring with the constant reruns. Get on with the damn show instead of repeating and repeating the same thing over and over again...if i'm not wrong a rerun was actually shown like a few weeks ago only? I don't think people would want to keep watching repeats when most already know what happened in the past! Watched it for 1/2 an hour then got majorly bored and switched off the television to bath.
Now time for morning activity. I decided to take the public bus to go to school today instead of bothering my parents and then later they get pissed off again. They don't say it but i know it so why bother!
Anyway, i took the bus from my home. Expected it to be pretty empty at my stop(because my house was near the interchange) so naturally i managed to get a seat. Then as it got further, it got more crowded. Alighted as destinated stop and this time, i expected the bus stop to be filled with students but to my amazement, no! It was empty! Saved a bus fare when the Ngee Ann Poly Bus came to the bus stop :) Empty bus...so glad.
Walked and walked to school. Past the overhead bridge through the 2nd gate, up the long slope, past canteen 1, past lecture theatres, under block 34 and finally reached...pretty far =
But this time, i wasn't 1st in class. Slipper girl was in class 1st. Ha! Call her slipper girl because she wore slippers when its a nono for practical lesson. She panicked because she forgot to wear shoes but overall the teacher was LATE and blur! The reason he gave..."I knew you all would be late so i purposely come late."
-.-" LAME!
Lecturers give these type of excuse...if he was a fun lecturer it would be funny...but he isn't funny 1 bit...more to annoying than fun
Lunch at canteen 3 again! Damn the auntie really anyhow count! Charge me $3.30 for so little..Such cheats! Guess it isn't such a big problem to me...as long as its not over too unreasonable its fine...
Lecture again...BORING! Seriously, i have never found another lecture interesting after this semester started...something is wrong...really wrong! I sleep and sleep again...only difference this time, i drooled! O.O must be thinking of something juicy...Yes maybe i was but i shall not say :P
Lecture then tutorial....then time to go home! Cloudy weather, it rained and stopped so it was a nice weather. Windy yet not sunny! After a while, it rained again. That would be the time i slept...for a nice afternoon nap...didn't plan for that but was just too tired and didnt do anything else...
Now i am thinking what to do for my ISP project. Should i observe a person or observe a place? Still pondering over this...and i have many things undone...unfinished...but i do not have the energy to do it...
Achievement today...talked more to people...pretty stupid of me if i must say...over 1 year in the same class and i haven't exactly made friends with everyone...*slap me*
Guess i should be making the 1st move instead of waiting for people to come to me...
p/s. Some peoples lead really interesting lives! Let me find you out :)
-OUT-
Interesting day
The world is full of jokers...What i would call my day today?
Fart day...and sleepy/lethargic filling up my entire body and mind.
From morning, i woke up, got ready for school as per normal...when my father was fetching me to school, i fell asleep in the car again...when i reached school, i was still 3/4 asleep...haven't exactly woken up yet...don't know why...
Reached class early as usual...and nobody was there(expected it)...went to the toilet, 2 people farted! Nice timing -.-"...teacher usually comes on the dot...well, he teaches really fast and my mind wasn't up at that point of time so couldn't really get some parts of what he taught but overall, he made me wake up during that 2hr duration of tutorial because of the speed he taught at...1/2 the class was still pretty unsure of what was going on..Ha!
After that was lunch time...had fried kway teow...when it was served, i took a pair of chopsticks but when i got down to eating, i took 2 bites with the chopsticks and put the chopsticks on the table to get a new pair...why? Simply because...there was insecticide smell on the chopsticks...Totally gross...really wondered why it had that smell at that point of time...had a queasy feeling that i was going to be sick for the whole day >.<
After lunch was lecture again...well...i got it mixed up with another module and brought the wrong notes...see how messed up a day can get when you arn't thinking straight
I slept during the lecture...because i was tired...really tired...then it was time for tutorial...same module! 3 hrs straight...hypnotism for me...thats why i fell asleep...don't blame me =)
Oh...on the way to tutorial, another person farted...will it ever end? NO!
Went to PS to watch over the hedge with my friends...before going in, wanted to buy drinks to bring into the theatre...ordered Vanilla coke(my favourite), sprite and kachang puteh. I reached into my wallet and took out a note without seeing...my friend then asked me...why you take out such a big note for? Looked at it and realised that i had taken out the $100 note which was meant to be deposited in the bank =Over the hedge is a funny movie...Really cute animation...Highly recommended to watch because its funny and cute(limited vocabulary at this point of time. Forgive me =P)! During the show, i ate 7 ichigo bliss...MmM..so delicious...sweet...cold =.="
After movie, went for dinner at Yoshinoya...my friend go put the drink that we bought from the movie but haven't finished drinking on the seat...then they went to buy the food(they put on the chair because usual rule is no outside food and drinks allowed)...
A while later, the cleaner came...cleaned the table and told me..
Cleaner: "Ba shui fang zhai zhuo zi shang mian la"
Me: "Bu yong jing, mei guan si"
Cleaner: "Fang zai zhuo zi shang mian! Ru guo dao diao wo you gen duo shi yao zhuo ni zhi dao ma?"
Me: "Hao ba"(I then take the 2 drinks from the seat and placed it on the table)
Cleaner: "Yi zhi hen an zhang de ni zhi dao ma? Pi gu zhuo zai na bian ni hai fang shui zai na li. Haiyo.."
I just smiled at her.
Translated
Cleaner: "Put your drinks on the table la"
Me: "Never mind, its alright"
Cleaner: "Put it on the table! If it spills i will have extra work to do you know?"
Me: "Ok"
Cleaner: "The chair is very dirty do you know? You butt seats on there and you still put your drink there. Tsk tsk.."
Well...what could i have done? Didn't want to be rude to the elderly and start unnecessary commotions..besides, the table was dirty so after she cleaned it, i guess it was fine to put the drinks on the table..thus i did it =)
After dinner, went to bank to withdraw and deposit money. Withdrawing cash had a long queue but depositing was fast. Then it was time for departure and i left my friends as i was taking the bus while they took the train.
Went to the bus stop..while nearing it...there goes the bus...missed it...how lucky can i get?
Waited at the bus stop(outside Park Mall) for express 502...how express is this service when i waited over 1/2 an hr before a service finally came...during this wait, 2 fart smells whooshed by me...WoW...Heavenly i guess...in front of me was the dustbin, with ignited cigarettes...5 people threw their butts in but never really extinguished it...smoky dustbin but lucky the wind was blowing in the other direction so none really got to me...
I was sleepy, tired and frustrated that the bus took such a long time to come...when it finally came, crowded bus...beautiful don't you think, i stood for another 50mins before reaching home...while standing, i was really too tired already that i actually fell asleep and my legs became wobbly and i fell a little...what woke me up? 3 fart smells....What the hell is wrong....
Finally reached home and i was almost dead already...that was about 8.35pm or so...American Idol was almost over already...all i could do when i reached home..was become a couch potato...really didn't have the strength to actually move anymore...tired but i kept myself up to watch television till 11.30pm(Project Runway premiered at 10.30pm =D)
After that i am doing what i am doing now...blogging my day activities...and then its bedtime because i have an 8am class the next day...
Summary: Sniffed around 7 farts in a day ranging from different duration of smell to uniqueness in the different smells(Over too much already)...Plus having to eat from insecticide smelling chopsticks...and to endure peak period jam period of human traffic. Finally the long wait for buses! Totally frustrating and tired day...hope everything works out fine tomorrow.
More happened but any more details and this will be TOO long.
-OUT-
New dream!
Well...i said i didn't remember anything special...but actually there was something special...
Yet, it was another dream if i must say...dreaming plays a big part of my life i guess....
This dream was a different dream, a very very different dream. Kinda awkward to even myself.
This person who i barely knew in reality, in my life, currently i actually know nothing about that person...but somehow, in my dream, i feel like i have known the person for a very long time. We clicked really well, anything could be spoke of. From the sky to the earth, anything!
Then a relationship bloomed? We were together, living life like never before. A whole new experience that i never could imagine.
Such a weird dream...i am still feeling uneasy over this...if this comes true(which i hope not)...Yikes...i am really going to freak out totally.
Note:
If a person is presentable/likeable etc to you, whatever the person does or says, it seems it just doesn't seem wrong. You can easily forgive the person no matter whatever the situation.
BUT...if the person is totally off from your taste/whatever bad thing you may think, just the sight of the person is enough for you to say "Fuck off" or even 1 word from the person and you would be going "Shut the fuck up, I don't ever wish to hear your voice. It's just irritating"
All these may not be said out aloud...but it would be what you are thinking deep down in your hearts...language used may not be similiar but the meaning would equally be as bad
Did i hit the nail to most? This would be the normal feeling i guess...its all in the mind
-OUT-
nothing special..
I woke up early in my OWN BEDroom...Wait for my alarm to go...I think about the things I`ve gotta do...Damn, my mind is gonna blow(adapted from The Click Five - Good Day)
Well it happened so i guess i can use it in my blog :)
Woke up late...could have been later but i decided to get out of bed anyway...
Got ready for school and went off to my ISP class...today was watching a video day...
"The Experiment", a french show...very interesting to watch but too bad we only managed to watch the 1st disk due to time constrain...Putting people in a new environment, be it for monetary gains or whatever reasons can really make a person change.
After the 1st disk, it was break time...decided to get Chocolate milk tea from the bubble tea shop located in the library...counted the time...from block 53(level 4) down to the Atrium, took me approximately 12mins to and fro.
After class, i took bus 52 to Jurong East interchange to get to the ice skate shop because i had bought something on Sunday but there were missing parts apparently. The rink was so empty. Compared to Friday's, there were only like around 20 people skating...now i know why ice skating will never be a popular sport in Singapore, or why there will never be a bigger skating rink.
On my way home, i decided to get Mee Siam...Mmm...havent eaten that in a long time already...taking bus 334 to my home, the bus was overpacked that it couldn't pick up passengers for 5 stops after the interchange(thats where i alighted). Peak period is really a bad time to go home for those people waiting there....best way would be for them to walk to the interchange to wait for the bus or wait 1/2 an hour and hope that a bus coming would not be packed but i doubt this will happen because of the long queue at the interchange.
This is a typical day blog which would be boring to read so i don't really expect anyone to read this...nothing special happened today...or at least i couldn't remember it for now...if i do remember it i will post it up =)
For memories sake at least....
-OUT-
Dreams to reality
Wow...my dreams actually become reality...how cool is that?
I dreamt of us being together and it happened...yes it did...i was expecting to meet you today and it came true...
I was waiting to see if you would really sms me...and guess what? You did! I was ecstatic, overjoyed, over the moon, jumping for joy in my heart...no words can actually describe the feeling i felt.
This may be freaky but it isn't the 1st time this has happened.
We met up for lunch...although we didn't exactly speak, seeing you was more than enough...
That made my day...really made my day :)
During lunch at SIM, since we didn't speak, i was just observing people around...i saw something interesting...
this happened between female and a caucasian lecturer(both sat at the staff table thats why i know =P)
Female Lecturer: "Is this seat occupied?"(Seat directly opposite caucasian)
Caucasian Lecturer: "No."
Female Lecturer: "Can i sit here? And at the same time you keep your newspapers so i can eat here. Thanks!"
Caucasian immediately sets aside his newspapers and puts his plate(which includes a HUGE piece of chicken drumstick, bean sprouts and rice with some other food stuff) in front of him. He then picks up the huge piece of drumstick and starts munching on it happily.
Female lecturer looks at him...and then they start making conversation together(somehow she forgot that she had to eat lunch too because they both just kept talking)... this may be lame to some but it was a funny sight to me =\(maybe my explanation is boring)
Had to leave my friends for them to lunch on their own to meet you!
All they had to say was "Zhong Se Qing You"...normal reaction i guess...but i know they are just kidding ^.^
After lunch it was time to head back to school. Went to buy green tea to drink and you back to lollipops(strawberry flavoured) again.
After shopping, i asked you again...
"So what is it you want at this point of time?"
Could have guessed the answer even if you didn't give it to me but i can understand why so its alright. Having an answer is better than not receiving none at all..even if it was crap, its all good =)
I then bought an extra Nescafe coffee drink to bring in to my lecture class so i wont fall asleep =Yes coffee is good for me...Vitality booster =)
Don't wish to talk about lectures and tutorial classes...they are just boring...but the topics that me and my friends talk about in there are pretty interesting...
Oh...and by the way...I thought Mother Mary was the same as Mary Magdelene...what an idiot i was >.<>
TV Watching9pm- Women of times
10pm - Desperate Housewives
11pm - Grey's Anatomy
After that would be using my laptop for a while to see if anyone wants to actually chat with me(loner guy i am)
Then its bedtime =D
That would be all for now...It's been a pleasant day
Believe in what will happen and there is a very high chance that it will come true...
I shall start believing in my dreams as they seem to be able to tell the future for me =)
-OUT-
Dream for hopes
I had a dream, a beautiful dream...that we were back together...it was so beautiful and sweet that i actually smiled while sleeping(yes i'm mad) but that was such a nice feel and i wish it would last...i don't mind losing sleep over this but i think i did say i want to let go of you?
Why is it so hard this time?
I think its called karma...what you wanted before has now come to me...
What goes around comes around...Now i feel like i want you...or rather...i NEED you but i will give myself just 1-2 more days to see how it goes...if it is true then i really hope for a resolution to this or i'll go bonkers soon.
Will there be a chance for us to be back together like before? =(
So many questions...so few answers...time to get ready for school...
-OUT-
Wasted day!
Yes...i wanted to make it a useful and worthwhile day today...but i guess i just wasted another day of my life away...
Typical Sunday morning for me:
Wake up and get ready to go to church(I'm a forced catholic)
After mass, its off to NTUC for grocery shopping...
Then, back home to slack off...Sunday is a boring day...
I had actually planned to do some homework and revision for the upcoming test next week...but...computer got hold of me again...This addiction is bad..really bad...caused me alot of problems and my poor results!
At least i managed to do 1 minor homework...which was a group work with my friends...i found some information and passed it on for compilation...actually i am not sure if that even counts as anything found...it was so slipshot work...feel bad about it =
I Dota'ed the whole day again today....and watched my downloaded(SShhh...) animes...xxxHolic and .Hack//Roots...not really something i would recommend watching but nonetheless, its a way to spend time...Hehe =P
Tonight was the Season Premiere of Singapore Idol...was never a fan of it and will never be a fan of it...to me, you can never make it big in this small country like Singapore...The stars here are so underpaid that is why they have to do so many commercials to make it in the business...this place is just...too small
Well...school begins tomorrow again...and it will be for the whole week...what i look forward to on Monday would be my Japanese class...I can't wait for it...but i haven't done my homework for the class...so i better get it done...by tomorrow before class starts at least :)
Just had a huge bowl of Waffle Crisps cereal in fresh milk...Mmm that tasted so good...almost 12am and i just filled my belly before bedtime...might be a wrong thing to do >.<
Oh yea...I missed my Las Vegas...but lucky i recorded it so i'll be watching it by this week, probably on Wednesday...that would be the earliest because i end pretty late on Monday's and Tuesday's...
I want to sleep...but I have such a full tummy now :(
Sleep sleep sleep!!~9am class tomorrow
*Bish* *Bish* *Bish* *Bish* *Bish* *Bish*
(Faints on the bed)
Guess that works too :)
-OUT-
Negativity is bad
When you are negative, everything in the world seems to suck so bad that you feel death would be the easiest way out...but that is so wrong. Death only brings more sorrow to everyone...even if you feel that nobody cares about you, there is actually that special someone who will bring a huge surprise to you one day...
Thats why...STAY POSITIVE AND LIVE EACH DAY TO THE FULLEST!
Easier said that done i guess...i spent my whole day sleeping today...woke up at 2pm...actually woke up earlier due to the nuisance from outside my room...but i couldn't give a hoot about what was happening outside so i just remained on my bed..yes i'm lazy...really lazy...
I woke up and played my computer yet again...another wasted day on gaming....switching from my desktop to my laptop...felt sleepy again at 6pm...thats like only 4hrs after i just woke up...and i already had like 10-11hrs of sleep....the only reason would be...restless nights >.<
How come it seems easier to sleep in the day...is it just me? Maybe because the day bores me and the night really keeps me awake...i don't know
I believe my nights are going to be much better from today onwards...because a chapter in my life has just ended and a new one begins now :)
Lets give it up for...NEW CHAPTER...Yeah!
Like i said...its a boring day today...i expect the same tomorrow...wait i'm blogging at 1+ am now...so technically, yesterday was a boring day and today will be too...HA!
NO =) Today will be a good and worthwhile day...Yes, it shall and will be...wont be wasting another weekend..for now its time for my bedtime...Sleep peacefully ^.^
-OUT-
Fun day...fun fun day
To love and be loved in return...thats the best feeling one can ever receive in the world...everyone yearns to be loved...if you beg to differ, i would call you a liar.
Started with a dreaded day...more sleepless nights...really really tiring....
Wake up for school...how boring....school is really becoming a chore...like hardass irritating chore..
Trying to recall what happened in school today...nothing much...except i made a few "boo boos"...that would be...
I bought my drink and wanted to return to my table to sit down and eat...at the time i was walking, my phone started ringing. I picked it up....PRANK CALL!
I put the phone back in my pocket and looked up...hmm...how come the tables have changed positions....what was going through my head at that point of time was..."what the hell is happening now...why the tables moved and different people sitting"...i then looked around and realised i had walked in the wrong direction...looking across, my friend was laughing at me!
Bad right...everyone makes mistakes for crying out load >.<
After lunch, its back to boring tutorials and lectures....lucky lecturer let us off at 4.30pm...because it was getting boring...i fell asleep yet again....2nd time! So disrespectful to the lecturer :( please forgive...
Then...when it was time to go home, friend challenged me to see who could reach home 1st...the destination was the same..only different route and buses taken...naturally he won because of the slow service and waiting time for certain buses...real irritating!
I rushed home...why?
To get my skates to go ice skating...yes...this is my motivation for the day...to go ice skating...i just simply adore it...i don't know why...
I learnt the T-break, Snow plow and swivel....was taught these a few weeks ago...but i finally managed to "perfect" it...all physics? Hmmm...go figure it out...
Just let me see how you do it...i will learn the rest myself...thats how i work i guess...maybe to you its antisocial but thats me and how i learn...
After skating, went to meet my friends to watch "The DaVinci Code".
Interesting movie...depends on what you believe in to really get the meaning of the show...don't let a show sway you from your believe...its just fiction to me :)
Watched the movie from 2nd row in the front at the new Cathay Cineplex...theatre 1 aka "The Grand Cathay"...what a fanciful name...and the interior design for that theatre was more like a concert hall....even had red curtains covering the screen at start and when its time to begin advertisements, the curtains are drawn...like some concert.
Almost fell asleep by the end of the movie...time 1:24am...had a long day already so thats probably why i could not handle it...otherwise i would have watched another movie, "Over the Hedge", a real funny cartoon comedy based on the trailer shown.
Anyway...left the cineplex and took a cab home...met with a real chatty driver who dug into my life pretty much i guess...he looked so young...probably in mid 30s...didn't ask him for his age...
Wanted to ask him why he became a cab driver..but decided not to probe...since i'm not really interested in his life ^.^...Cab fare of S$16.35 including 50% midnight surcharge...so expensive =\ could have eaten so many plates of chicken rice in the market..Ha!
Time to go bath and take my nap already....weekend tomorrow and i got no activities planned so staying at home will be what i will be doing...
For you: Since you do not even wish to be friends, lets leave it as it is then...we can go our seperate ways and i will not bother you anymore...your heartache will be needed to be cured by yourself since you do not wish for me to help...Take care and best of luck to you in your life
-OUT-
Sad sad day today....really sad day...
How come my heart is broken into pieces and yet people can't tell?
Do i conceal myself that well that its hard to even know when i am in need of help?
Numb to feelings? That is so not true...i have feelings too...but give me more of yours so i can help you too...
I sms you saying it may be best if we remain as friends because of the abrupt ending of conversation we had...well maybe if i had called you, it would have been more sincere or may have made you feel so much better...you could have screamed at me or cried your hearts out to me...and i would be there to console you...but no...i didnt...it had to be a stupid sms...
Simply put, i don't have guts...there i said it...totally no guts to face up to reality...
Why don't you let me into your life? I want to know more about you but you didn't allow me...i am not blaming you but just letting you know how i feel...don't bottle up your feelings when it comes to me...because i have many bottles in myself already kept for myself...when its time, these will just "PoP" open and my heart will be crying like never before...
My heart has been shattered...i am at a loss of what to do at this point of time...don't remind me of death because it has crossed my mind for the past 3 years but i have managed to get it out of my head...why do you choose death?
Share it with me...i may be able to lessen the burden that dwells deep within the dark corner of your heart...
I know you do not wish for us to be just "friends"...i can tell from the language you use...you yearn to be more than just that...and that may be just what i want too...but...open yourself up to me...dont keep it to yourself...its causing you hurt and sadness...i know it so dont deny that fact..
Time may be what you need...time...and i can give you that...but not forever...
When you are ready succumb to the weakness of your heart, let me know...i shall...or i WILL be there to walk that path with you...no matter how rocky it may be, its a path that you and i will have to walk...live free :)
Once again...just talk to me when you are ready...ignoring may not be the solution because it can only deepen the wound...*HUGZ*
-OUT-
My life is a boring one...nothing interesting ever happens...why?
Because...i choose to stay at home instead of going out and search for adventures...
I may have said i have moved on in my life, but truth is, can i? Will I? Do i want to?
Things are easier said than done...because of you, i havent been able to sleep properly for the past few nights. Can it get any worse than this?
I am so lethargic in the day...sleeping during lectures...thats such a bad and rude thing to do...but i cant help it when i get tired can i?
I wonder what happened to people's attitude today...totally off from usual and i don't like it...No no, not one bit...makes me wonder...have i become an even worse person than before? What attributed the change in me? If any of you happen to pass by, maybe you could leave your comments and i would change if its necessary and possible...then again, nothing is impossible
Almost lost my Nike Water Bottle today...i wanted to give up going back for it but thanks to my friends, i managed to retrieve what was supposedly lost and gone forever. But the wierdest thing was, there were pieces of the ceiling on the ground and all over the tables and chairs when i went to take it...it was like the ceiling had just fell! What an unsightly sight that was. I am just too negative! Must be positive..Must be positive! Keep telling myself that and i shall achieve it one day~
After getting back my bottle, it was time to go back home...home sweet home!
What did i do when i reach home? Use my computer...what else?
I have no life :) so you can probably guess
Maplestory was 1st up...when i entered, KS WAR between my guild and another in Mix Stone Golem map in Sleepy Dungeon...man that was some fight...words and actions and expressions exchanged...simply beautiful...got bored after a while and i left...to play DOTA :)
Nothing interesting happened today...except people staring again...
People...really...don't you have anything better to look at?
Just stop looking at me for 1 day thats all i ask...thanks
-OUT-
Is it me? Or am i just being paranoid?
Why do i feel that people keep looking at me like theres something wrong =QUIT LOOKING AT ME I HATE TO GUESS WHAT YOU ALL ARE THINKING!
LEAVE ME ALONE
And to the guy on bus 157 earlier working with the SAF(i think)...whats your freaking problem...stare at me all the way until i get down the bus...you still looking at me! FUCK OFF OK THANKS!
Today was presentation day for my IS module(ISP-Introduction to social psychology).
Before that, had a meet up with my group members...i thought i had everything prepared...but i'll touch on this later...
While in the library, suddenly i heard the song "Yi Shi De Mei Hao, from At the Dolphin Bay Drama, sung by Zhang Shao Han"(If wrong please let me know)
I looked down at the Atrium and saw a girl(or lady) singing it...right in the middle of the Atrium...She didnt sound that bad...actually it was sung pretty well...but what i admired most was her courage and confidence...she dared to do it...something which i may not be able to do at this point of time....
Seeing how she did it...i kept thinking...how do some people get so confident...i am trying to break out of this but it seems like the hardest thing to do. I really could use some help from anyone if they could give some advise.
Help me be more confident and voice my thoughts out freely...with no restrictions...hell if i could do it I think life would be so much more meaningful to me.
Back to the presentation...time for class and when my group member started the presentation, he did it well...like really well...and when it was my turn, MY MIND WAS A COMPLETE BLANK!
I MESSED UP THE WHOLE THING. I COULDN'T SPEAK! WTF IS WRONG WITH ME! I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO SAY BUT IT JUST DOESNT COME OUT! I TOTALLY HATE MYSELF FOR LACKING IN CONFIDENCE. WHEN WILL IT EVER BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE MORE CONFIDENT!
Seeing people able to present so well...i feel so jealous...i try to mimic them at some point of time, analyse how they feel and what they are thinking at that point of time...but it isn't an easy task...
Anyway...Survivor Exile Island was a good season. ARAS WON! Just the person i was voting for. Hate Terry...but its in the show only at least...probably because hes too good and cocky and arrogant and a spoil sport =\ but who am i to judge others
Danielle came in 2nd...yea yea yea...totally deserving...to me at least.
To confident people: I hate you yet i love you and want to learn from you.
Just make sure you are confident and not cocky or arrogant :) a little is fine but too much would be overdoing it and pissing me off.
Back to you...a whole day and i haven't talked to you one bit...you are totally out of my life already and its time to move on...if you think i miss you? Think again...I can get feelings out of my heart in just 1 night if i want to. Thats the power of determination and will power.
Although there may be some memories of the past, they wont be strong affection or affect my life in any way because i am able to move on and get past minor things.
Nothing else to say for now at this point of time...because life really sucks
-OUT-
Yikes...went to school in the morning and 1st thing my friend notice..."Is that a lovebite on your neck?"
"NO!" its not!!! Some stupid bug just bit me in the night...an alien mosquito...yea that has to be it..Grr..i'll kill it if it does it again O.O
Anyway...I went to school with absolutely no feelings at all! Halfway through lecture you sms me...if you want to see me for lunch wait for me at *****....
I go and meet you and you made me follow you like a dog!
HOW COULD YOU...Of all people...YOU!!
Somemore you made me follow you and your friends to lunch together...nicely done...you spoilt my mood totally...made me lose my appetite totally...thats why i did not eat lunch ok?
What did your friend say..."Jian fei ar"
So paiseh you know >.
After that...oh my gosh...how many sentences did we even exchange during lunch?
5-6 sentences? And its all like rubbish.....your friend made quite an impression on me...making all the lame jokes..haha...Mr Movie Guru of crap(yea i guess thats what i would name him..no offence taken i hope)
I left and you still had to say some things to make me irritated...how "good" can you get seriously...
After i finished my classes i went to the library to do some homework before my japanese class starts...at the same time talk to somebody...i think he is the only person who can help me at this point of time...
You really getting worse....i met you in the afternoon and you tell me after you finished class..."I am at ***** now"
You want me to go see you when i already settle down in library!! When i dont wanna see you...i get this from you "Ur Loss"
Oh my goodness...how evil can you seriously get...AHhhhhh....somebody help me!!
You are trying to make me jealous...WHY!!!
Lucky when i go for japanese classes all my problems seem to go away...because lesson is so fun and interesting...thats how i feel when i learn a new language...I LOVE LANGUAGES!!
Todays episode of desperate housewives is a really funny episode...especially gabrielle solis...todays episode seem to revolve around her...funny real real funny...nun loving a married man...how wrong can that be...Go gabrielle!! Slap her yea!! HA!
After this would be the season finale of survivor...guess i'll be recording it because its a 3hr show till 2am >.<
(Wish now was the holidays so i could watch it)
That would be all for now i guess......
-OUT-
I am sorry i had to post such derogatory comments...i just couldnt control my emotions at that point of time...now after talking to someone..i feel maybe i was in the wrong
I may be pressuring you too much and instead caused you so much more problems. Just let me know what is on your mind and maybe I can give you some advise on what can be done...just like what any sane person would do...I make put in some jokes in between but thats just to lighten up your spirits and not for you to take it to heart...hope to hear from you soon because this is really killing me...ignoring is a real pain in the ass to the person being ignored.
I'm watching Las Vegas now...i enjoy watching sitcoms/dramas/reality TV because they are really really interesting.
Other shows i enjoy watching: The Amazing Race, Survivor, Project Runway, America's Next Top Model, Desperate Housewives, Lost, The O.C, The Apprentice, American Idol etc etc...
Not forgetting...Japanese Animation(daisuki desu ne..translation: Love it ALOT)
And once again...I AM TRULY TOTALLY SORRY(x infinity)...forgive me because everyone makes mistakes...thats where i will learn and be a better person :)
-OUT-
About myself:
I am ugly, short, fat, sacarstic, irritating, unfriendly, introvert, uninteresting, unwanted, unloved, undeniably the worst person in the world.
Anything negative you can think of about a person, that would be included under me.
Sounds like a major load of bitching about myself dont you agree?
I'm trying to get better...but it isnt that easy since there are so many obstacles faced along the way..the road is a long journey but how it ends up will be dependent on me.
Currently, you are ignoring me and it is the SHITTEST FEELING in the world ok?
How would you like to get ignored then you tell me whether its fun __
I am beginning to think you are totally FUCKED UP...always playing hard to get?
TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR FOR CRYING OUT LOAD! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
NOW....TIME FOR YOU TO GET OUT OF MY LIFE...A NEW CHAPTER BEGINS AFTER YOU
PSst...WHO NEEDS YOU SHOO!
Arrogant, Cocky, Sickening etc etc etc and not 1 bit up to standard...Looking at POOP makes me feel so much better ok?
-OUT-
Slept at 2...wake up at 4+ because my stomach was feeling like crap...after that my stomach kept hurting...not diarrhoea thats for sure because i know the difference =Bah...wont bother talking about stools...its gross =S
Anyway just couldn't sleep after that and i had to go to be at your house at 11...got myself ready and left at 10 or so...when i reached i immediately went to mac to get our lunch....
Pepper Chicken Drumlets & Fish Mc Dippers meal...but before that...i went to the toilet at mac and saw something unsightly?
This old freako cheekopeK or whatever you all will call him...was playing with his "THING" at the urinal...UgH...next time i think i go inside cubicle better >.< then wont get these type of sight *PenG*
After that i went to get our meal and waited for you at the place you left me off the last time...you took so long to come down...next time give me ur address easier for me ok? Then i dont have to wait for you and can save you the trouble of coming downstairs...
You asked me to get mac for you...then u still go to kopitiam buy fried carrot cake...you so hungry de ar -.-"...Then still ask me sit at the table while u go do something far away...(WHY CANNOT TELL ME!!)
Go up your house...oh my gosH..your room super messy...and i thought mine was messy...plus SUPER dusty...wish i could help u clean up but you didnt allow me =X
You and your sister very cute...quarrel until like those drama i see on TV...but dun always bully your sister ok? She's afterall still younger than u so must GIVE IN!!
Wont talk about what happened through the day...its for me to know but....
LET ME PLAY WITH YOUR HANDPHONE!!! WHY SO SECRETIVE >.<
I LET YOU PLAY WITH MINE YOU DONT RECIPROCATE MAKE ME ANGRY ONLY!!
Dont want to think about the rest...You brought me to this Christian event...real eyeopener to me...why? Because i have never seen anyone worship Christ that much...EVER...maybe because i am a boring Catholic..tsk tsk...real lots of emotion throughout the whole thing
But....DONT TRY TO CONVERT ME PLEASE...THAT WOULD REALLY BE APPRECIATED.
Continue and this may be the end PERIOD
-OUT-
Haha...yes finally went skating after a long time of absence...the feeling is sooooo good to be on the ice...
Today was crowded...too crowded because... *drumroll*
Its VESAK DAY!!! PUBLIC HOLIDAY!!
Which is really bad because there is no way to really practise skating when it is too crowded...Ice was like a flooded pool...especially when the pros start splashing water all over newbies(yea im 1 of them)...damn bullies!~
But.....guess who was the biggest attraction of all...COLIN AND KERO!!
Ha..never could have guessed it was them...but yea...they came and the attention totally shifted to them...almost everyone was talking about them as they were skating around...man that was some funny thing to hear(at least to me).
By the way...both of them look really different from the pictures(think they grew up) because they look so much more matured *Cough cough*
Yes i mean it when i say that...interesting right...hmm..go figure :)
After skating was a big feast for me at KFC...Zinger meals, Hot spicy drumlets(technically they dont even taste spicy 1 bit)
Oh yea...my poor friend got his precious skates scratched by some person who fell because he didnt know how to skate....my friend was boiling with anger(may not understand it unless its yours and pretty new >.<)
A small scratch...maybe not so small but still a scratch can really make someone sad when its personal skates u know...besides the guy that fell was using rental skates so he didnt have to bother much...
At least...mine is still fine and dandy...YuP they still look as good as new
Out for now..
1st post, new blogger in the house~
waiting for time to pass...seems like forever when u have nothing to do at all...
i have learnt to take life slowly instead of leading such a hectic lifestyle with absolutely NO LIFE at all.
For those who have always been in a rush...time to slow down your steps and think about this..is it really worth it to be rushing all the time and feel majorly stressed up by everything little thing.
Well...i'm waiting to go to the ice skating rink at J.E.
Cant wait as its been a long long time since i last went there =\ like 2-3mths ago i guess...yucks cant believe what i've been doing all these while
Why i love ice skating?
Its the only COOL sport around...still a newbie but can learn to get better ^.^
1st post has to be boring YES it is...mission accomplished
